We’re Gonna Build Bigger Nukes

RUSH: Dadelut dadelut dadelut dadelut. We’re going to update you! But we’ll play the Peace Update Theme Song first.
(Playing “Una Paloma Blanca” by Slim Whitman.)
Slim Whitman.
(Continued playing.)
Peace update theme.
(Continued playing of song.)
Stop the tape! Stop the tape! Whatever happened to the peace movement? Whatever happened to it? Where is it? It’s the global warming movement today, folks.
(Continued playing of song.)
Where is Slim Whitman?
Whatever happened to him?
(Continued playing of song.)
No.
(Continued playing of song.)
A trailer park in Florida?
(Continued playing of song.)
Oh, yes, they can, Slim baby. Bombs. That’s the voice of God.
(Continued playing of song.)
Well, what a classic vocal portrayal. Here’s Slim Whitman, Una Paloma Blanca, our long peace update. We’ve used this since the program began. We don’t have any peace updates anymore because the peace movement, where is it? It’s got a new name: The global warming movement. But nevertheless, for those of you who find yourself remnants of the peace movement, who still find yourself able to put together 25 or 30 people for an anti-war march, this news ought to be especially timely to you. ?The Energy Department will announce today a contract to develop the nation’s first new hydrogen bomb in two decades, involving a collaboration between three national weapons laboratories. The new nuke…? and make no mistake, that’s what this is. ?The new [nuclear] bomb will include design features from all three labs, though Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in the Bay Area appears to have taken the lead position in the project. ? The weapon is known as the reliable replacement warhead and is intended to replace aging warheads now deployed on missiles aboard Trident submarines. ? The cost of the development is secret, though outside experts said it would cost billions of dollars – perhaps tens of billions – to develop the bomb, build factories to restart high-volume weapons production and then assemble the weapons.?
It’s got to really frost these Iranians. Here we?re able to announce that we’ve got nukes and we’ve had them for years but we’re going to update our stockpiles, and those people can’t even figure out how to get it done from the get-go. We’re in the process of telling them they can’t do it and we are going to develop our own brand-new nukes as deterrents against anybody else attacking us. ?The Los Alamos design is said to contain highly attractive features, including…” I love that, “highly attractive features.” It?s like we’re going out to buy a car, except we’re buying a nuke. …highly attractive features, including innovative mechanisms that would prevent terrorists from detonating the bomb should they gain access to it, experts said. Those use controls were cited by military officials as a key factor in developing the weapon.?
There are critics, of course, to this, ladies and gentlemen, and the critics say that the ?existing stockpile is perfectly reliable and can be maintained for decades. The new bomb will undermine U.S. efforts to stop nuclear proliferation, they say.? I can imagine they’re all going to start caterwauling, ?But wait, but wait, we’re trying to get the Iranians and everybody else, the North Koreans, to stop doing nukes, and here we’re announcing we?re going to do our new nukes?? Yes. We are the United States of America. We’re the lone superpower of the world. We can do it. I just love the effect this is going to have on these little limp-wristed, linguini-spined little socialists on the left who are now going to be in utter panic over this. I am honored and happy to bring this happy news of an updated, brand-new nuclear weapon to you, via the EIB Network.