“All you supporters of the Fairness Doctrine who think this show needs to be ‘balanced,’ let me tell you something: The truth does not need balance. And the truth is what we do on this program.”
“Yesterday we were talking about the ‘First 100 Hours’ of the Pelosi House and how nobody seems to care about it. In fact, I don’t even know what hour we’re at. Sorry, never end a sentence with a preposition.”
“I did this NPR interview the other day, and the guy wanted to know (as they always do) about the term feminazi. He said, ‘Don’t you think the term is offensive?’ I said, ‘It might well be, but as Shakespeare said, brevity is the soul of wit.'”
“It’s such a joke for these liberals to come out and start being concerned about the attempts of a television show to try to influence the public. What the hell was The West Wing? I’m convinced liberals believe Martin Sheen was actually the president.”
“You think my audience wants to hear half of this program devoted to a bunch of liberals responding to things I’ve said? I mean, now and then we do it for the fun of it — it’s always fun to listen to them bomb out.”
“You don’t hear anybody like me advocating that there be ‘balance’ on other shows. You don’t hear me saying, ‘Hey! CBS! Get rid of Katie Couric and hire me now!’ — although, that would be a brilliant move on their part.”
“I said some things are going to be going on in here during the commercial break that nobody is allowed to see, and I am literally stunned at what some of you people are accusing me of having done. A ‘nooner’? Come on! What do you think of me?”
“There’s no question Al-Qaeda and militant Islamists are our enemy. So just ask yourself: What in the world is so frightening to the left about a TV show that portrays our actual enemies and what they do around the world?”
“I’m an HD geek, and some HD geeks said they would prefer to watch the Super Bowl on their big screen HDs rather than go to the event. When I read that I said, ‘I can understand this.’ The only thing is, these networks show you a bunch of worthless crowd shots of drunken idiots in the stands.”
“One of my favorite shows is Boston Legal, and that may surprise some of you because Boston Legal routinely mocks and makes fun of conservatives. But I can laugh at myself and I can laugh at conservatism.”
