{"id":37114,"date":"2010-12-21T01:01:01","date_gmt":"2011-05-19T00:15:08","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2011-05-19T00:15:08","modified_gmt":"2011-05-19T00:15:08","slug":"mother_in_law_jokes_mad_e_mails_and_understanding_inner_el_rushbo10","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/admin.rushlimbaugh.com\/daily\/2010\/12\/21\/mother_in_law_jokes_mad_e_mails_and_understanding_inner_el_rushbo10\/","title":{"rendered":"Mother-in-Law Jokes, Mad E-mails and Understanding Inner El Rushbo"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

RUSH: If it weren\u2019t for the calendar I would not know this was Christmastime. I mean the venom that is out there in the e-mail from people ticked off we don\u2019t have an Android or BlackBerry version of the app, to people ticked off at me because I\u2019m continuing to talk about McNabb and football. (laughing) Jeez. People are ticked off at you, Snerdley, for making that the first call of the day, poor old Dorothy<\/a> from Chicago.<\/p>\n

Greetings, and welcome back, Rush Limbaugh, we\u2019re here serving humanity, half my brain tied behind my back just to make it fair. Telephone number is 800-282-2882. The e-mail address, ElRushbo@eibnet.com. <\/line><\/a>Folks, I have to tell you, I\u2019ve checked the e-mail here during the top-of-the-hour break. I\u2019m gonna read a couple e-mail I got replying to Dorothy from Chicago. I got one person who understood what she was trying to say, my wife, Kathryn, sends me a note and says, ‘Have Dorothy call me.\u2019 (laughing) Oh, and that\u2019s another thing. I posted a new picture of the two dogs, Abbey and Wellesley, put it up on Facebook and at RushLimbaugh.com. We got \u2019em out of school yesterday. Well, they go to the kennel, we call it school, and they got a bath yesterday, and the kennel put red ribbons in their hair. They\u2019re sheepdogs and they pull the hair out of their eyes and sent \u2019em home with a couple of red ribbons on top of their head. I\u2019m getting grief about that, people sending me e-mail, ‘You wouldn\u2019t dare do that.\u2019 I didn\u2019t do it. The kennel did it, and as soon as we got \u2019em home we took the red ribbons off, but Kathryn took a picture of \u2019em first. It\u2019s a cute picture. Get off my back about this, for crying out loud, the venom that\u2019s out there today. <\/line><\/p>\n

‘Rush, I think the caller was saying she wanted to hear you be less glib and speak more from the heart, that you need to express your core values more, to get more in touch with your inner Limbaugh.\u2019 And I said, ‘No, I asked her if that\u2019s what she wanted, if she wanted to hear my feminine side, and she said no.\u2019 He said, ‘Rush, here\u2019s what was going on. She\u2019s upset because so many people that she knows don\u2019t get you, because they don\u2019t listen to you. And she wishes you would do something to help those people that don\u2019t understand you to more properly understand you.\u2019 How can I do that if they\u2019re not gonna listen? So this guy theorizes that she goes out, she gets grief from people for listening to me, and she tries to tell \u2019em how they\u2019re wrong about stuff. Then there\u2019s this, from a guy named Tom. ‘Dear Rush: I think the caller needs to stop worrying about what other people think of her. My wife hated you. Hated when I\u2019d listen to you, so I divorced her. The caller needs new friends and stay away from the blockhead parties.\u2019 (laughing) My wife hated you, hated when I\u2019d listen to you. I divorced her. (laughing) <\/p>\n

BREAK TRANSCRIPT<\/line> <\/line>RUSH: Carol in Bowling Green, Kentucky, you\u2019re next. It\u2019s great to have you here.<\/line><\/p>\n

CALLER: Oh, thank you, Rush. It\u2019s an absolute delight to talk with you.<\/p>\n

RUSH: Thank you very much. I appreciate that.<\/p>\n

CALLER: I have a theory about why you\u2019re getting all these less than salubrious e-mails and notes, et cetera. It\u2019s all this Christmas travel. Here people are in the car, they gotta go see their mother-in-law or they gotta get to the airport, they\u2019ve gotta get nine-square-feet of luggage and gifts into seven-square-feet of space. He\u2019s grumpy, she\u2019s frustrated. It\u2019s just not a good time.<\/p>\n

RUSH: But this is supposed to be a happy time of year. People are supposed to be doing stuff out of pure joy in their hearts! Cramming nine-square-feet of luggage into seven-square-feet of space to get to where you\u2019re going to give it away, this is supposed to be a happy holiday time of year. Why should people be getting ticked off here?<\/p>\n

CALLER: And then — well, wait, you have another piece of this because the food that he said was so delicious when you were dating and you were visiting the mother-in-law and now he gets it served every Christmas, and it\u2019s terrible, but he can\u2019t ever say it because that would probably break up the marriage.<\/p>\n

RUSH: Okay. We\u2019re dealing with marriage issues here, obviously. <\/p>\n

CALLER: Right. (laughing)<\/p>\n

RUSH: You\u2019ve jammed your mother-in-law twice here in this call. <\/p>\n

CALLER: And bless her heart, she\u2019s not here anymore. (laughing)<\/p>\n

RUSH: (laughing)Well, that makes it even worse!<\/p>\n

CALLER: (laughing)<\/p>\n

RUSH: The poor woman can\u2019t respond. You\u2019re ripping the woman. Are you saying this woman cooked up a storm and it was good until you got married then it went south?<\/p>\n

CALLER: There you go. No, I\u2019m not! She was a good cook. I have to take that back.<\/p>\n

RUSH: Okay, so you\u2019re talking about other people\u2019s mothers-in-laws who phone it in.<\/p>\n

CALLER: Oh, absolutely it\u2019s so much easier to talk about other people\u2019s mothers-in-law than my own.<\/p>\n

RUSH: All right, so they phone it in after the marriage takes place?<\/p>\n

CALLER: Exactly. It all goes south after the marriage takes place.<\/p>\n

RUSH: All right. So nobody wants to go to the in-laws because after the marriage takes place the in-laws are free to revert to their normal reprobate selves. They don\u2019t have the impress anybody.<\/p>\n

CALLER: Not only they\u2019re free to revert to their reprobate self but you\u2019re free to revert because all those things that you really liked that he took you to and the places you went and the things you did were wonderful when you\u2019re dating, but when you have to do them year after year after year they kind of lose their bloom.<\/p>\n

RUSH: Ah, because you have to do them as opposed to want to do them?<\/p>\n

CALLER: You pretend that you like to do them. (giggling) Right. You\u2019ve got it.<\/p>\n

RUSH: So what you\u2019re basically saying is, if I understand —<\/p>\n

CALLER: Uh-huh?<\/p>\n

RUSH: You\u2019re basically saying is that people are jealous of me, upset because I can speak the truth and they have to button their lips.<\/p>\n

CALLER: Yes, 24\/7, 365 you can do that.<\/p>\n

RUSH: They can\u2019t.<\/p>\n

CALLER: Absolutely.<\/p>\n

RUSH: Okay, all right. So they\u2019re taking it out on me.<\/p>\n

CALLER: Exactly. And we\u2019re constrained by politeness, and you\u2019re not bothered by it at all. (laughing)<\/p>\n

RUSH: All right, so what are you doing for Christmas? Are you…?<\/p>\n

CALLER: I am in the road, in the car, on the way to see my children and my grandchildren. And we\u2019ve got the nine-square-feet of luggage in the seven-square-feet of space.<\/p>\n

RUSH: Okay, so you\u2019re a mother-in-law. Have you phoned it in? Or do you still cook well when the in-laws show up?<\/p>\n

CALLER: Oh, no, they still love me so they — they agree with whatever I do.<\/p>\n

RUSH: Ahhhh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So everything\u2019s cool in your house.<\/p>\n

CALLER: Absolutely.<\/p>\n

RUSH: It\u2019s everybody else that\u2019s screwed up.<\/p>\n

CALLER: Oh, absolutely. Isn\u2019t that the way it always is?<\/p>\n

RUSH: Well, in a lot of people\u2019s minds — hee-hee-hee-hee-hee — maybe so.<\/p>\n

CALLER: I think so. I think you\u2019re absolutely right. But this has been the delight of my Christmas. I\u2019ve listened to you for years and it\u2019s just wonderful.<\/p>\n

RUSH: Well, I love mother-in-law bashing. It\u2019s a stereotypical form of humor that I have always enjoyed. I find as I grow older that fewer and fewer people like stereotypical humor. It offends them. They don\u2019t really like it. But I do. I just… (laughing) In the stereotypes of relationships, stereotypes of in-laws, stereotypes of kids, stereotypes of whatever, I love the jokes. Because there\u2019s always a grain of truth in it. Always a grain of truth. (interruption) Now, my in-laws are cool, I have to tell you. (interruption) No, no, no, no, no, no, no! (interruption)Oh, yeah. I\u2019m telling you. No, no, no, no, no. (interruption) I\u2019m telling you! No, no. (interruption) No. Don\u2019t accuse me here of being Carol. I\u2019m not. No. I\u2019m not joining her chorus on that. I\u2019m just stipulating here, \u2019cause I\u2019ve been the one talking about how I love stereotypical humor and so forth. If I told a joke or made a funny comment, stereotypical comment about my in-laws, it would be a joke, not because they\u2019re really that way. (interruption)<\/p>\n

No, I\u2019m not \u2019cause I don\u2019t have to suck up, Snerdley. I don\u2019t suck up. Here, look, I\u2019ll give you an example. I mean, just off the top of my head. I can\u2019t remember how this joke actually goes. Mixed emotions: You see your brand-new Mercedes driving off the side of the cliff; your mother-in-law is driving. Okay? Mixed emotions. Now, I would never want to see my mother-in-law drive off a cliff in any car, hers or mine, but it\u2019s a funny joke. But I don\u2019t tell it because it relates to me personally. I just think it\u2019s funny, and I am not gonna back down from my sense of humor. I\u2019m not gonna make people make me back down from my sense of humor. Too many people are forced to back down from who they are. I mean, the inner Limbaugh is on display here each and every day. Those people who think that I\u2019m hiding something? Ha! You don\u2019t know the half of it. <\/p>\n

Augusta, Georgia, this is Russ. You\u2019re next on the EIB Network. Hello, sir.<\/p>\n

CALLER: Hey, Rush.<\/p>\n

RUSH: Heyyy! How are you, Russ?<\/p>\n

CALLER: I\u2019m doing terrific, thank you. It\u2019s just an awesome honor to get to talk to you.<\/p>\n

RUSH: Thank you.<\/p>\n

CALLER: Hey, I wanted to check with you and find out. Listen, I\u2019m really hugely annoyed when I hear about like how the General Motors union got this massive windfall of money basically from the stimulus, and they\u2019re not the only one. There are a lot of unions that have gotten windfalls of stimulus money.<\/p>\n

RUSH: The whole purpose of the stimulus was to buy General Motors for the union. They\u2019re the 55% owner.<\/p>\n

CALLER: Well, my feeling is, I\u2019m a Republican, and I do not appreciate this. To me it seems almost like money laundering, and that they\u2019re giving all this money to the unions, which the unions then turn around and shell out like there\u2019s no tomorrow —<\/p>\n

RUSH: Now, Russ, this —<\/p>\n

CALLER: — like in Nevada —<\/p>\n

RUSH: Russ?<\/p>\n

CALLER: — and it goes to support Democrats. <\/p>\n

RUSH: Russ?<\/p>\n

CALLER: Yes.<\/p>\n

RUSH: Russ, this all happened about 18 months ago, 19 months ago.<\/p>\n

CALLER: Yeah.<\/p>\n

RUSH: (chuckles) Um, so you\u2019ve been ticked about it that long?<\/p>\n

CALLER: I have. Well, it especially came up in November when Harry Reid got reelected, due in no small part to union money —<\/p>\n

RUSH: Oh.<\/p>\n

CALLER: — and I felt like, ‘Well, wait a minute.\u2019 I felt like, ‘Look, Obama and these people, there should be a law that if they receive stimulus money, they\u2019re not allowed to spend any money on election advertising.\u2019 <\/p>\n

RUSH: There probably is, but what does that matter? There probably is such a law but what does that matter? You\u2019re talking Democrats. Law?<\/p>\n

CALLER: Yeah.<\/p>\n

RUSH: What do you want to do about it besides enforce the law that they won\u2019t. What do you want to do about it?<\/p>\n

CALLER: Well, I didn\u2019t know if some of our legislators could bring it up. I never cease to be appalled at the Republicans\u2019 inability to really articulate much of anything.<\/p>\n

RUSH: Yeah.<\/p>\n

CALLER: (laughing) So, I don\u2019t know. Maybe this is just one more taste of that, but —<\/p>\n

RUSH: Yeah, it is.<\/p>\n

CALLER: — I wondered if maybe like Michele Bachmann or somebody could submit a bill and try and get something, and that would help bring this up.<\/p>\n

RUSH: What would the bill say? ‘Cause I know Michele Bachmann, I can call her. What do you want the bill to do? What do you want it to say?<\/p>\n

CALLER: Well, basically just like a straight up say, ‘Hey, if you receive stimulus money, you are not allowed to spend any money on campaign advertising, period, until you have repaid the federal government.\u2019<\/p>\n

RUSH: Okay. I\u2019ll talk to her about that.<\/p>\n

CALLER: Wow. Well, that\u2019s great.<\/p>\n

RUSH: What you\u2019re asking here… You\u2019ve said it\u2019s ‘almost like money laundering.\u2019 It is money laundering, there\u2019s no almost about it. This is pure and simple. These are slush funds. The stimulus is not anything but a slush fund expressly for the purpose that you have identified, and that\u2019s the Democrat Party. That\u2019s what they do — and the Republicans, for the most part, are not gonna say anything about it because they\u2019re gonna be calls racists since it involved Obama.<\/p>\n

CALLER: Well, yeah. No, you\u2019re exactly right.<\/p>\n

RUSH: I know, and that\u2019s a tough burden. But somebody has to be right.<\/p>\n

BREAK TRANSCRIPT<\/p>\n

RUSH: ‘Dear Rush, the 2X is not working on my iPad.\u2019 I have mentioned this before countless times. It will work if you do it after the streaming video begins. Wait for the streaming video to begin, then hit the 2X button on your iPad, and it will fill the iPad screen. <\/p>\n

So, ladies and gentlemen, I was out shopping the other day and saw six women beating up my mother-in-law. I was standing there watching and her neighbor, who knew me, said, ‘Well, aren\u2019t you gonna help?\u2019 I watched and I said, ‘No, six of them\u2019s enough.\u2019 Now, I don\u2019t want to see my mother-in-law beat up, but I think the joke\u2019s funny. <\/p>\n

BREAK TRANSCRIPT<\/p>\n

RUSH: So I got an e-mail during the break at the top of the hour. ‘Rush, does your wife listen to your show?\u2019 Why would people ask me that? She does listen. Here\u2019s what happens. She gets in the car, she drives during the commercial breaks, when the program starts she pulls off to the side of the road and covers her face. (laughing) That\u2019s how she does it. That\u2019s what she tells me she does. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

RUSH: If it weren\u2019t for the calendar I would not know this was Christmastime. I mean the venom that is out there in the e-mail from people ticked off we don\u2019t have an Android or BlackBerry version of the app, to people ticked off at me because I\u2019m continuing to talk about McNabb and football. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0},"categories":[],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nMother-in-Law Jokes, Mad E-mails and Understanding Inner El Rushbo - The Rush Limbaugh Show<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/live-rush-limbaugh.pantheonsite.io\/daily\/2010\/12\/21\/mother_in_law_jokes_mad_e_mails_and_understanding_inner_el_rushbo10\/\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Mother-in-Law Jokes, Mad E-mails and Understanding Inner El Rushbo - The Rush Limbaugh Show\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"RUSH: If it weren\u2019t for the calendar I would not know this was Christmastime. 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