{"id":30655,"date":"2008-10-17T01:01:01","date_gmt":"2011-05-19T03:15:10","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2011-05-19T03:15:10","modified_gmt":"2011-05-19T03:15:10","slug":"alfred_e_smith_dinner_comedy_mccain_kills_and_obama_bombs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/admin.rushlimbaugh.com\/daily\/2008\/10\/17\/alfred_e_smith_dinner_comedy_mccain_kills_and_obama_bombs\/","title":{"rendered":"Alfred E. Smith Dinner Comedy: McCain Kills and Obama Bombs"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

RUSH: To the Alfred E. Smith dinner last night. McCain killed. He really did bring down the house last night at the 63rd annual Alfred E. Smith Benefit Dinner. This is a Catholic Charities Foundation dinner that is held every year. They raised over two-and-a-half million dollars last night. We have a series of bites from both candidates. McCain first.<\/p>\n

MCCAIN: This campaign needed the common touch of a working man. (laughter) After all, it began so long ago with the heralded arrival of a man known to Open Line Friday as ‘The One.\u2019 (laughter) Being a friend and colleague of Barack, I just called him ‘That One.\u2019 (applause) Friends, he didn\u2019t mind at all. In fact, he even has a pet name for me: ‘George Bush.\u2019 (applause)<\/p>\n

RUSH: The laughter went on and on and on and on. We\u2019ve cut the laughter for the time constraints here. Here is Senator McCain skewering the Clintons while sticking it to Obama.<\/p>\n

MCCAIN: Even in this room full of proud Manhattan Democrats, I can\u2019t shake that feeling that some people here are pulling for me. (applause) I\u2019m delighted to see you here tonight, Hillary. (raucous laughter) Where\u2019s Bill, by the way? Can\u2019t he take one night off from his tireless quest to make the man who defeated his wife the next president? Larry King asked President Clinton couple weeks ago, what was delay and why wasn\u2019t he out there on the trail for Barack. Bill said his hands were tied until the end of the Jewish high holidays. (laughter) I just know Bill would like to be out there now stomping for Barack until the last hour of the last day. Unfortunately, he is constrained by his respect for any voters who might be observing the Zoroastrian New Year. (laughter)<\/p>\n

RUSH: This is great stuff, and the laughter went on and on and on. This is a great McCain line on Obama and the economy. And they cut to Obama during all the jokes, and Obama laughed at some of them, but you could tell some of these things were really getting to him. To me, last night I learned Obama does not have a sense of humor. This is the next one.<\/p>\n

MCCAIN: We all know that Senator Obama is ready for any contingency, even the possibility of a sudden and dramatic market rebound. I\u2019m told that at the first sign of recovery, he will suspend his campaign and fly immediately to Washington to address this crisis. (laughter and applause) <\/p>\n

RUSH: Yeah, baby, yeah! If the markets start doing great, Obama is going to stop and head to Washington to deal with it, find out what happened. He then went after the media a little.<\/p>\n

MCCAIN: My old friend and greenroom pal Chris Matthews. He used to like me, but he found somebody new. (laughter) Somebody who opened his eyes, somebody who gave him a thrill up his leg (laughter), and we\u2019ve talked about it. I told him, ‘Maverick I can do, but Messiah is above my pay grade.\u2019 (laughter)<\/p>\n

RUSH: I know. I know. I know you\u2019re asking, ‘Where the hell has this been? Where the hell\u2019s this kind of stuff been?\u2019 Now, I don\u2019t know who wrote this for McCain, obviously somebody did, but somebody behind the scenes knows full well who Obama is, what the Clinton relationship with Obama is, what the Clintons\u2019 desires regarding Obama are. You know, humor just works so well when you skewer somebody and everybody\u2019s laughing when you do it, it\u2019s just profoundly good. Now let\u2019s get one more. This is the classy McCain. I think this is generational, by the way. A lot of things get lost in terms of class as generations pass and come and go. The old days of, you know, being gracious and complimentary to your opponent and so forth. Those days have gone by the boards for the most part. But McCain is old enough to have had that been part of his upbringing and so forth, and this is near his close. This is not how he closed it. He closed it with more humor, but this is what he had to say about Obama.<\/p>\n

MCCAIN: My opponent is an impressive fellow in many ways. Political opponents can have a little trouble seeing the best in each other. But I\u2019ve had a few glimpses of this man at his best, and I admire his great skill, energy, and determination. It\u2019s not for nothing that he\u2019s inspired so many folks in his own party and beyond. Senator Obama talks about making history, and he\u2019s made quite a bit of it already. I can\u2019t wish my opponent luck, but I do wish him well. (applause)<\/p>\n

RUSH: I know you\u2019re saying, ‘Why is he saying this? Why does he have to compliment Obama?\u2019 Because he knows his audience. He knows who the audience is. He knows what the purpose of this dinner is. He knows what\u2019s called for, and he gave it all. He gave the humor. He did the humor well. He was properly respectful of the host of the event and the guests, honored guests and so forth. Katie Couric was up there. She had her Sarah Palin hairdo last night. Brian Williams was up there. New York elite is who\u2019s in the crowd. <\/line><\/p>\n

BREAK TRANSCRIPT<\/p>\n

RUSH: Here is Obama — now, let me tell you what happened. I did not see when it was going live last night. I had forgotten it was even on, and I had the baseball game on in the background. You know, at home, I have to turn away from the TV to use the computer. I turned to my left, I got an L-shaped desk there, and I\u2019m at the computer and I\u2019m working on today\u2019s show and a number of other things and occasionally glance at the screen to see how bad the Red Sox are getting blown out. Then my e-mail, I got a flash from a friend: ‘McCain is killing tonight.\u2019 What\u2019s going on tonight? Whoops. Alfred E. Smith. So I turned on C-SPAN, and I caught the last line of McCain, and the crowd going nuts, and then I saw Obama introduced, and I did watch Obama live. Then I went back and I found the McCain stuff before I went to bed last night. I sent my friend who had sent this note ‘McCain is killing tonight,\u2019 I fired back, I said, ‘I think Obama is bombing.\u2019 Now, I admit I was a little bit reacting to his telling me that McCain had killed. I didn\u2019t see McCain, but I\u2019ve seen Bush kill at these things. Bush just was fabulous at these things. It\u2019s all about who writes them. <\/p>\n

I\u2019m told that Matthew Scully wrote McCain\u2019s last night who also wrote Palin\u2019s speech at the Republican convention. Well, you gotta be able to tell a joke, and McCain\u2019s timing was impeccable, his timing last night was impeccable. You gotta be able to do that. I don\u2019t know who wrote Obama\u2019s, I\u2019m thinking somebody at Saturday Night Live, like Lorne Michaels, or maybe they went and got the teetering normalcy, Al Franken to write it, because this was bitter. There were parts of it that were bitter and that really weren\u2019t funny, and something else I noticed as I watched Obama, he was ad-libbing the part where he got to praising McCain, and I think — I\u2019m just guessing — but I\u2019m pretty good analyzing this stuff \u2019cause I\u2019m a highly trained analyst and specialist. But I\u2019m pretty sure that Obama did not have any words for McCain in this, or not very many, and then after McCain goes on and on and on praising Obama, Obama said, I\u2019m going to have to say something here, and he\u2019s ad-libbing. We don\u2019t have tape of that, I\u2019m just passing this off to you. Let\u2019s just get to the Obama bites. We have four of them here. Here is Obama making fun of his middle name.<\/p>\n

OBAMA: Many of you know that I got my name, Barack, from my father. What you may not know is Barack is actually Swahili for ‘that one.\u2019 (laughter) And I got my middle name from somebody who obviously didn\u2019t think I\u2019d ever run for president. (laughter) <\/p>\n

RUSH: Okay, now, that one was so good that he then went on to say — we don\u2019t have tape of this — he was not born in a manger. Contrary to popular opinion, he was not born in a manger, he was born on Krypton, and he was sent here by his father, Jor-El, to save planet Earth. That fell flat. I don\u2019t know. I wasn\u2019t born in a manger, I\u2019m not Christ, I\u2019m not Jesus. I\u2019m Superman. I know he\u2019s trying to be self-deprecating and laugh at himself, but I don\u2019t think Obama laughs at himself. I don\u2019t think Obama laughs much. That\u2019s what I picked up from this. Here\u2019s the second joke about his middle name.<\/p>\n

OBAMA: In the spirit of full disclosure, there are a few October Surprises you\u2019ll be finding out about in the coming couple weeks. First of all, my middle name, it\u2019s not what you think. It\u2019s actually Steve. That\u2019s right, Barack Steve Obama.<\/p>\n

RUSH: See, the first middle name joke went over so well, Swahili is for ‘that one.\u2019 He closed out, let\u2019s go to 29. This is the one that made me think he is bitter. Well, I know he\u2019s bitter about this because in the debate he was crying, he was whining and moaning about how if it weren\u2019t for Fox News he\u2019d have three or four more points in the polls to which the retort is, if it weren\u2019t for MSNBC, CNN, ABC, NBC, CBS, the New York Times, Washington Post, LA Times, USA Today, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you wouldn\u2019t be at 30% in the polls. But he\u2019s gotta go (crying) Fox News (crying) Fox News (crying). So he got in a little dig at Rupert Murdoch.<\/p>\n

OBAMA: Rupert Murdoch the other day, Fox News actually accused me of fathering two African-American children in wedlock. (laughter) By the way, John, I\u2019m just curious, is Fox News included in the media? Because I\u2019m always hearing about this love. Just curious.<\/p>\n

RUSH: Now, I don\u2019t know, folks. This is not a guy can rise above this kind of stuff, this petty little stuff. Man, if you\u2019re running for president, you can\u2019t take the media and you can\u2019t handle one dissenting voice, can you imagine if Obama were a Republican? Fox, by the way, I don\u2019t know if you saw the post-debate analysis, Obama, but the Fox All-Stars want to fix you breakfast every morning, and they want to put you to bed every night and they want to drive your car every day. You gotta look around and find out you got real friends over at Fox News, Obama. Something here, folks, just doesn\u2019t sit right. He closes with a little bit of class warfare about New York City.<\/p>\n

OBAMA: Beyond the walls of this hotel on the streets of one of the greatest cities in the wealthiest nation on earth, there are men and women and children who have fallen on hard times and hard luck, who can\u2019t find work or even a job that pays enough to keep a roof over their heads. And some are hanging on just by a thread.<\/p>\n

RUSH: Now, there\u2019s Obama saying this while dressed in a white tie. This was a white tie dinner last night, and that meant the babes could bring out all the finest baubles and jewels that they either rent or own, and the finest gowns and all this. New York Page Six reports: ‘Though he\u2019s battling GOP accusations that he\u2019s an Ivy League elitist, Barack Obama has a lifestyle of the rich and famous, like TV show host Robin Leach, who always signed off, ‘Champagne wishes and caviar dreams!\u2019 While he was at a meeting at the Waldorf-Astoria at 4 p.m. Wednesday, Michelle Obama called room service and ordered lobster hors d\u2019oeuvres, two whole steamed lobsters, Iranian caviar and champagne,\u2019 and there\u2019s Obama waxing eloquent about all the suffering outside the hotel on the streets of the one of the greatest cities in the wealthiest nation — so had to get in a little class envy. Not funny. He was not warm, even. Some of these jokes he was laughing at them alone. He was laughing at his own jokes himself. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

RUSH: To the Alfred E. Smith dinner last night. McCain killed. He really did bring down the house last night at the 63rd annual Alfred E. Smith Benefit Dinner. This is a Catholic Charities Foundation dinner that is held every year. They raised over two-and-a-half million dollars last night. We have a series of bites […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0},"categories":[],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nAlfred E. 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