“Why are they granting these Obamacare waivers? I thought this law was a panacea. I thought the president said that if you like your health care coverage, you keep it… Is it only if you have a waiver?”
“Those of you stranded in all this snow, how does all the talk about windmills and high speed rail sound to you today as a solution to all your problems, hmm?”
“By the way, ladies and gentlemen, the ratings for the Obama State of the Union Show were down over last year, significantly down. Meanwhile, the Golf Channel ratings for the same time, I just heard this morning, were a record high.”
“I’m not familiar with the details out there, Mike — what damage to the oral cavity of Dennis Kucinich did this olive pit do?”
“The number one objective of the left has been to revise Reagan history — he didn’t care about AIDS, he was a cold-hearted, a mean-spirited extremist. Now all of a sudden when their little Obama can’t get any traction whatsoever, where do they go? Reagan.”
“Like I’ve told you, the only difference between regular TV and reality TV is that the reality TV writers are nonunion. Don’t get me started on reality TV, folks — I’ll end up saying things I don’t want to say.”
“I moved away from home when I was 20 to Pittsburgh, and that’s why I’m a Steelers fan. When I was there in the early seventies, their dynasty was forming, and they just captivated the town. I mean, you got caught up in it.”
“Guys, Valentine’s Day is come up, and listen to me on this. Don’t believe any woman who tells you that she doesn’t want anything on Valentine’s Day — just don’t believe her.”
“I have been behind the Golden EIB Microphone for coming on 23 years, and I do not recall a single time when the NAGs were happy about anything, not a single time. And if Obama can’t make them happy, I don’t know who can.”
“It really is a highlight of my day — highlight of my life, actually — to be able to do these three hours with you, and I look forward to each and every day.”
