“You are still the best resource you have to acquiring what you want in life. Obama is not your best resource.”
“Great, great progress has been made in our country since our founding. However, Barack Obama and the Democrat Party still see this nation as the greatest failure in the experiment of social and economic justice and equality that the human race has ever produced. “
“Diamonds and baubles never go out of style; they either are purchased or a dream waiting to be realized.”
“You see, the people of this country love their Constitution, reject socialism, and don’t support an authoritarian judiciary — yet this is the Obama agenda: he wants to unleash the full power of the federal government against the people.”
“If, in your neighborhood, there is a such-and-such ‘School for Economic and Social Justice’, it is a Marxist school.”
“I cannot believe what I am seeing! Oh, no, no, no! Barack Obama was given a Pittsburgh Steelers jersey with his name on it! Aw! I knew it, but I just didn’t want to see it — you know, sort of like when you have a daughter and she goes on her first date.”
“The Pilgrims stole Manhattan for 24 bucks from the Indians. It was the first ever subprime loan, ladies and gentlemen, and the Indians got screwed royally.”
“If Obama wins, wherever you go, they are going to find you. If they can use government computers to go after Joe the Plumber, they can find you.”
“Suzanne, here I am trying to relate to you and my insolent staff, whose contribution to this program are way overrated, are now asking me, ‘Who cares how much money leaves your community?’ Hey, somebody has to polish the gold that they paint on the curbs here!”
“Whether you call a phone sex hotline or you call the Democrat Party, you’re going to get screwed either way.”
“Veterans Day is important. All of us here at the EIB Network thank God for veterans every day. We always have, and we always will.”
“We lost, and we are hip-deep in doo-doo. We have the most radical leftist extremist disguised as something much tamer and milder who is insisting on putting an imprint on this country that it has never had.”
“Maybe we can find a day to salute those in the private sector who used to be the leaders in America’s pursuit of happiness. I’m serious! We need to seriously consider establishing Capitalism Day so that we never forget what it was.”
“I don’t want to spend the next two years saying ‘I told you so’ every day, folks. I really don’t. I could, and I will able to, but I really don’t want to because it’s annoying.”
“Mark my words here, folks: there’s nothing messianic here. This guy is cold. I warned you people back during the campaign: he is a cold tactician out of the Chicago political machine.”
“If Camelot is back, then I want to know which black civil rights leaders are going to get wiretapped — you know, like Robert Kennedy wiretapped Martin Luther King.”
“Watching all these people get messiah-nized and caught up in this cult-like thing is just creepy. I mean, Obama could bomb Baghdad all over again, and he’d be applauded for it.”
“I will watch the inauguration on television. That would be the worst day to go to Washington. I mean, going to Washington is bad enough on a normal day — look what happens to Republicans when they spend the night there.”
“I hate identity politics and I hate class politics because we are all Americans. We conservatives can attract anybody with a set of core principles that benefit everybody, regardless the damned color of their skin or their gender.”
“Do you think Obama would swab his nostrils with Zicam to stop himself from getting a cold? Do messiahs swab?”
“I’m just wondering if Barack Obama’s lighting up about now, because a cold man just got a chill today.”
“Can you imagine Jesse Jackson, Jr. asking for the Senate seat and Blagojevich saying to him, ‘Well, what are you going to pay me?’ And Jesse Jackson, Jr. says, ‘I know how this works, pal! Who do you think you are, my dad?'”
“Look, I don’t mean to throw cold water on things, but until we get rid of the Democrat Party and their union buddies, nothing’s going to change in Illinois or Chicago.”
“I’m becoming more and more certain that the only thing keeping liberalism alive is the media. I mean, does anybody
“ABC News is reporting that 54% of the American people are opposed to the auto bailout. This is a deal that nobody wants except the unions and Obama, and therefore it will happen.”
“I listened to Patrick Fitzgerald during the break, and he’s asking the public to report any corruption they find. Hey, Pat, you have to expand your office to the entire hotel where the Obama transition team is!”
“There’s no such thing as an ethical violation if you’re a Democrat. Only Republicans are capable of that because Republicans publicly state that they have standards.”
“All you need to understand about Barack Obama is it’s not
“Are you aware that yesterday’s stock market jump was credited to Obama and his plan to build roads and bridges? Now, if that’s the case, thenwhy is it down 85 points right now? And don’t tell me it’s because Wall Street’s shocked at Oprah admitting she gained 40 pounds!”
“Two and two equals four — unless we’re in outcome-based education, in which case it equals whatever you want it to be.”
“Remember when smoking was the big demon? Or Republicans, or greedy corporations, or Big Oil? Now it’s obesity, chubbies, fatties.”
“Obama, you spent 150 days working in the Senate. You organized riots and communities and stuff in Chicago. And you’re now going to run the medical business and appoint people to determine how well doctors are doing their jobs? Play that sound bite again!”
“We all hear about how smart Obama is, but he’s just dumb. If he’s going to do this meeting with Gates and Crowley, it’s just going to add two more days to the story. And, what — are we going to have smoke signals come out of there at the end of the meeting?”
“I think there have been so many instances in history where people should have seen the follies of liberalism to the point where they would never, ever get elected in large numbers ever again. But they do, because they are filled with deceit.”
“Obama wants as many people as possible to think that the problem in health care is two things: their greedy doctors and super greedy insurance agents. I’m seething about this.”
“I let old Punkin walk around outside last night and she saw a tiny little lizard: bam! She made a beeline. I said, ‘There go the lizard’s rights.'”
“H.R. is now giving me grief about being a snob simply because I said I have a ten-year supply of lightbulbs and chandeliers. I’m a regular guy! I mean, I don’t drink at ten o’clock in the morning with veterans, but if I walked into where they were, I’d down a shot with them. I know Obama wouldn’t, that’s true.”
“Obama would not have gotten elected had this agenda been perfectly laid out as he’s executing it, and that’s why people are starting to say, ‘This is not the guy I voted for.'”
“When my mother joined the AARP, I said, ‘What are you doing? You’re going to destroy the family reputation here if people find out about this!’ She said, ‘No, son, they do really good things.’ I mean, she bought hook, line, and sinker the whole thing.”
“I love having guys named Clint on the show. And you sound just like a Clint should sound, too, Clint.”