“Every species has to alter the environment in order to thrive. What are we supposed to do, wackos? Just sit back and say, ‘Okay, there’s a fire. Yep, there’s my house. Well, let the house burn because this is nature’?”
“This is Hillary’s tax increase. Charlie Rangel is always the front man, the forward operator of Hillary’s plans. (He was the first to raise the idea of her running for the Senate.) I mean, Rangel is 77 years old; he can’t have a long view about anything.”
“It really is unfair to judge people by the cars they drive; that’s absolutely true. I’ll try not to do that anymore in the future. What do you mean, Snerdley, you have a Volvo?”
“Anybody out there happen to know in what fire we experienced the greatest loss of life in US history? Yes: the great Chicago fire. It started when a cow kicked over a lantern. And nobody claimed back then that the cow was upset over global warming.”
“I think that the Democrats have reached the point where they have smeared so many people for so many years that rational people are beginning to say, ‘Gosh, they can’t all be this bad.'”
“The Democrats are accomplishing nothing. The S-CHIP bill, down in flames. Harry Reid’s smear of me backfired. Southwick ends up being confirmed. And oh, yeah: the wet DREAM Act was defeated.”
“Hold it just a second, Janet — you deserve special recognition here. You just had the guts to admit that you’re wealthy. You’re not making excuses for it, and you’re not apologizing for it. Kudos to you!”
“Programming note: I will be out tomorrow. I lost my temper yesterday. I have decided that if I’m going to suspend my own staff members when they lose their tempers — as happened recently to Mr. Snerdley — then I’m going to suspend myself.”
“No, I haven’t suspended myself — I have some business matters I have to take care of. You think I’d really suspend myself? If you people out there buy that, then you’ve got a long way to go.”